sick leave
by Thai-Jane
Summary: Jane absent due to stomach trouble.


Jane texted Lisbon a few days ago in the morning and told her he wasn't feeling well so she asked him what was wrong.

Jane said he had a bit of a headache and stomach ache and felt sick.

They're quite open about things so she asked him if he had an upsetstomach.

Jane said no, and that in actual fact he'd been struggling to go as he'd been constipated for five days.

Lisbon had to go to work so she left her phone in her locker and headed to her desk.

Lisbon finished work at 5pm and picked up her phone.

She had a text from Jane: "Could you come and look after me? I've been on the toilet pretty much constantly since half one, I feel terrible / xxxxxxxx"

Lisbon rang him straight back and he told her he was still on the toilet with a bad stomach ache.

Apparently he'd started to get "the urge" at about 1pm but not bothered going to the toilet cause he'd needed to go all week cause of being constipated.

About twenty minutes later he'd started getting bad stomach cramps and releasing wet smelly farts and became desperate for a poo.

He went to the toilet, sat down and pressed on his bloated belly hoping for some relief.

He'd had to strain really hard at first to get things moving, and eventually passed a rock solid turd that had clearly been acting as a plug as it was followed by a gush of unexpected diarrhea.

He'd continued to have the runs all day and could barely leave the toilet for more than fifteen minutes.

Lisbon went straight to his house and found him sat on the sofa looking miserable and massaging his bloated upsetstomach.

Lisbon instantly sat beside him and cuddled him, rubbing her hand gently across his aching stomach.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently, holding him to her.

"Not really, I've been on the toilet so much, I feel horrible, I'm sorry you have to see me like this." she reassured him it was fine and they watched TV for a bit.

Lisbon could hear Jane's stomach gurgling loudly beside her and he kept rubbing it as if to try and ease the discomfort within.

Suddenly Jane released a long loud wet fart with a squirt at the end where Lisbon thinks he sharted in his underwear.

Jane gasped "Oh, I'm so sorry, it just came out." he looked mortified.

"There's some more coming, I have to dash." Jane apologised and rushed out of the room.

Lisbon followed him into the bathroom where he was already seated and having waves of liquid diarrhea.

Lisbon rubbed his stomach and held his hand as he winced with the pain of each wave emptying out of his sore bum.

"It's okay, Jane." Lisbon held Jane.

Jane moaned in relief and pain.

After about fifteen minutes he looked up at her with big sad blue eyes.

"I think I'm done. For now." he sighed.

Jane began to wipe his messy bum whilst sat down but cried out in pain as the paper touched a sore area.

"Shh, come here." Lisbon took some toilet paper, wet it under the tap and gently wiped for him.

The paper was covered in runny poo.

Lisbon had to use nearly half a roll to get him clean.

Jane went to pull his pants up but stopped abruptly.

"Oh." Jane groaned, noticing the large brown stain in them.

Lisbon went to get him some fresh boxers and he threw the soiled ones in the wash.

Lisbon took a wad of toilet paper and carefully placed it in the seat of his fresh boxers.

"I know it's hard to hold when you've got the runs, Jane." she told him and helped him get dressed again.

"Thank you, Lisbon." Jane smiled at her weakly, and Lisbon took him to lay down on his bed.

She gently rubbed his stomach ache away and lay quietly with him until she heard his belly start making noises again.

"Do you need the toilet hun?" she asked gently.

"I'm not sure. Today I feel like I constantly need the toilet." Jane sighed.

"Come on, better safe than sorry." Lisbon took him to the bathroom four times over the next three hours, each time he had a really messy explosive dump.

By 7pm it was clear he was still quite poorly so Lisbon told him she would stay the night even though she was working the next day.

Lisbon was laid next to Jane on the bed when he suddenly groaned and sat up clutching his stomach.

"What's wrong?" she asked, as he looked at her with a panicked expression on his face.

"My bowels..I..I don't think I can hold it!" Jane gasped.

"Aw, it's okay if you don't make it in time." Lisbon comforted him.

"No, I, ohh god!" Jane followed through badly, then jumped off the bed, clutching his bum and trying not to shit himself.

Jane ran to the toilet, ripped his clothes off and slammed his bum onto the toilet seat.

"Ahhhhh" Jane moaned with relief as runny diarrhea splattered out of his bum.

After the first wave, a funny look came over his face and he held his churning stomach.

"I'm going to be sick." he cried, and quickly turned round, allowing chunky vomit to spew all over the toilet bowl.

Jane heaved his guts up for a minute or so, then groaned.

"Oh, it's coming out the other end now." Jane jumped back on the toilet just in time to have another poo - his twenty first bowel movement of the day.

Beads of sweat stood out from his forehead.

Jane had to go another seven times before morning and he was sick three times.

At 7am Lisbon woke up to go to work and noticed a strange smell.

She looked across at her sleeping boyfriend and lifted the covers slightly.

There was a large brown stain across his pyjama bottoms. he'd obviously had an accident in his sleep bless him.

Lisbon gently woke him up, "Jane, I think you need the toilet." she said.

"Why? I..oh" Jane obviously felt the warm wetness on his bum because he reached behind to check how bad it was.

"Oh, I am so sorry, that's never ever happened before." he gasped, almost in tears.

"it's fine, you're sick. come on, let's get you to the bathroom." Lisbon held him close and hugged him as he cried.

Lisbon peeled his pyjama bottoms down.

Jane had diarrhea caked all over his thighs, bum and privates.

He sat on the toilet and more instantly gushed out of his bum, leaving him weak and exhausted.

Lisbon quickly helped him shower, then back to bed.

She went to work but kept calling him to see how he was.

By the time she got in from work he'd regained control of his bowels but was still having to run to the toilet a lot.

The next morning he had a runny poo when he woke up, and a sloppy one gushed out half an hour later, but he was fine for a few hours after that.

His diarrhea and stomach ache carried on for another two days before he felt better.


End file.
